Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
