are you still at the devil's house?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize