I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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