I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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