I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
