I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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