what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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