Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
