i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize