There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone