the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.