Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.

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  (330): Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper. http://tfl.nu/vs2k
  Replies (12) Good night (616) Bad night (2965) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Di me a solid and hit me with your car.

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  (715): Di me a solid and hit me with your car. http://tfl.nu/1rsf
  Replies (3) Good night (637) Bad night (2017) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.

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  (404): He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/81m1
  Replies (28) Good night (807) Bad night (7387) Order T-Shirt
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'

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  (435): Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much' http://tfl.nu/b5vr
  Replies (26) Good night (2280) Bad night (7895) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it

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  (310): I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it http://tfl.nu/jugc
  Replies (8) Good night (1141) Bad night (3560) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?

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  (231): So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was? http://tfl.nu/e02a
  Replies (21) Good night (1388) Bad night (4523) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.

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  (704): He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza. http://tfl.nu/a4a2
  Replies (8) Good night (938) Bad night (2725) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.

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  (715): He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now. http://tfl.nu/ppv0
  Replies (7) Good night (2985) Bad night (810) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god

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  (814): When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god http://tfl.nu/yzjp
  Replies (3) Good night (1685) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.

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  (812): It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind. http://tfl.nu/4evb
  Replies (9) Good night (1092) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now

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  (303): Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now http://tfl.nu/ssv3
  Replies (5) Good night (465) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.

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  (714): You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid. http://tfl.nu/jhks
  Replies (5) Good night (368) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.

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  (785): I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/gaew
  Replies (5) Good night (1246) Bad night (224) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs

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  (704): Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs http://tfl.nu/e56e
  Replies (2) Good night (726) Bad night (201) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!

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  (503): So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30! http://tfl.nu/8l9n
  Replies (3) Good night (421) Bad night (109)

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