38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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