All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
