I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
