we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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