6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
