Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
