You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
