it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
