if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
