I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
