it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
