Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
