check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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