I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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