kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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