on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
