Non-Jews are for practice
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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