Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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