Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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