Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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