the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
