Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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