I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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