So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
