Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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