If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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