He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
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ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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