I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
