they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
