Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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