woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
