mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
