i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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