Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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