Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
