Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
