Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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