no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
No...this little piggys going to the bar
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
