I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
