dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
