Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
