he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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