Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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