You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
