you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
