We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
