Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
