I think i sorta joined a cult last night
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
