If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
