Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Randomize
