dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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