there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
