Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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