just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
